Sometimes there’s stuff I just wish I had done better.
I’m sure most of us have been there before, especially those of you who strive for excellence in whatever areas of
expertise you’re in.
I suppose this lesson here has multiple levels of importance.
Some of you might remember my posts from a few years ago.
I would go out, do stuff or try stuff out, and royally screw it up, and instead of focusing on what I had done correctly so I could do it even better next time, I was focused on how badly I had fouled everything up and was, in some cases, almost completely mortified at how badly I had muffed something simple up.
Sometimes it wasn’t all that simple, but I was real hard on myself.
There is something to being one’s own harshest task master when it comes to improving skills.
HOWEVER, it’s a lot easier to do things correctly when you get along with yourself and like yourself.
I did have one thing going for me: I was in rapport with myself when it came to my beliefs about how I had screwed stuff up.
AND since I had a burning desire to do things correctly, that helped propel me to go keep doing stuff, and to go over it in my mind with the CORRECTED results, so I could go out and do things well.
I used to spend a lot of time beating myself up over how I had screwed up though.
I’d go out and do walkups or some hypnosis or social skills techniques, and when things flopped – and sometimes the only reason for the “flop” was because I had a lousy target finder at the time – something that gets correct with EXPERIENCE and also by clean segment intending: I don’t want X, I DO want XXX.
Anyway, I recently had an occassion where I wished I had done things a lot better.
The funny thing is that by going out and screwing it up a bit and just having fun and seeing “hey, where can I use what I’ve learned? How else can I use this? What ELSE can you do with what you’re learning that would be fun or meaningful to you and help you get better and better and better?”
So a few days ago, I was out minding my own business. I had some overseas package to ship. I normally just take my packages to the post office and drop them off – except for some that I have kunaki ship for me now.
But some of my courses have manuals, and kunaki only does CDs and DVDs, so I was at the post office with my package.
One of the ladies there who is always really, really nice to everyone seemed like something was wrong.
She didn’t seem her normal, happy self.
I asked her how she was doing, and while talking, she told me her dog she’d had for several years died that morning.
Those of you who have pets know how attached you can become to an animal. You start to realize that “Wow, in some ways this is my best and closest, most trusted friend…”
If you’re in to the seduction patterns, look at how you can take something like this (hahaha), and in the course of a normal conversation, you can insert this sort of thing, and it just fits right in there, just by telling regular stories in a normal conversation.
By the way, ladies, put a little seduction in everything you do. Sexual energy sells!
Remember the 80′s? The HUGE auditoriums they’d sell out for rock concerts?
They didn’t sell out because the music was nice.
They sold out on raw sexual energy.
Some of them were even having orgies underneath the stage in between songs.
Ever buy a car?
Maybe your reason for buying a car was out of necessity, but I bet the way you felt about it had a lot to do with it!
I remember when I got my pickup truck brand spankin’ new.
Getting rid of the old heap I had (which was a good car in its time) and driving off with a new, shiny pickup truck.
Even though it was smaller than some of the other ones out there, there’s this nice red, clean, stick shift, and I loved it. And I was so proud of it. I said to myself “Wow! You know the ladies are gonna love this too!”
So anyway, getting back to my point, this is what turns people on.
Even Napoleon Hill said so when discovered the principles of success – he talks about how to tap in to this sexual energy to get what it is that’s important for you in life.
It’s not just about going out and releasing sexual energy all over the place.
That would be like a river bank that floods all over the place and makes a big mess without ever doing all that much good.
But isntead, what you want to do, is you channel it here, so that there is a direction and a flow of energy that you can tap in to that helps you gain massive power and momentum you wouldn’t have been able to get any other way.
And when you’re in deep, rapport with someone is like that, that connection which causes two people to be able to achieve even more than would have been possible if you had tried to do it by yourself.
(By the way, Napoleon Hill said the best number for a Master Mind Group that he had tested out, that others had tested out, and that even Jesus had used is a group of 13 [Jesus had his 12 closest friends and disciples]. The important part is being able to focus the group energy on the common goal or outcome.)
Now if this were an English Composition (you know, like conversationally anchor something people wouldn’t be interested in or would find boring. If it’s an english major, you use some other “boring” topic), I’d have just flunked the course.
But you realize this here is really powerful stuff. And even though in the “rules” of how people say things should be done, it might appear that the article GETs OFF topic HERE. (Practice it, practice it. Practice it! Say “Get Off Here (as you point to yourself!)” with a command tonality.
Now say “gets” with a normal, NON-commanding tonality.
Notice the difference.
Now put the two together: Say GETs OFF HERE, as you point to yourself in a casual, normal way.
Or if you’re selling bedroom furniture or appliances or cars or whatever, point to the product!
Anchor and condition in the sexual urges and energies to whatever it is you want to offer.
If you’re not yet sure on the differences and similarities of anchoring and conditioning and how to use them, go ahead and ask.
Anyway, learn to elicit states in a normal conversation. Learn to also embed thoughts below the surface where they can simmer and percolate a bit too.
And just go out and have fun with it.
If you’re not in a situation where it’s safe to screw things up, get in your car, drive somewhere that nobody knows you – like away from your job or whatever, and go have some fun talking with people.
Anyway, one of the things I noticed about my friend at the post office was that she was doing fine until she associated in to the picture of seeing her dog that morning and finding it dead.
Richard Bandler, in one of his patterns on grief resolution, noticed that people tend to associate in to the loss, and if you can get them to disassociate from that picture you can go a long ways toward helping them get over their grief quickly instead of being stuck in it for a long time.
Actually it’s interesting because I used to go out and screw stuff up talking to people, then for the rest of the night, I would associate back in to that moment and re-live it all over again, and curse myself the entire time.
I had to learn to let go of it, step back, notice what I did correctly, and mentally rehears how to do it better next time. And learning to disassociate from it – in other words seeing it “out there” like watching yourself on a movie screen instead of being the one on stage starring in the movie.
Anyways, what’s interesting is I empathized with that lady at the post office. I mean, I almost started to cry to. I love dogs. Some dogs I’ve known I’ve liked more than some of the people I’ve seen. Maybe you’ve experienced those feelings too?
And I went in to the same sort of PHYSIOLOGY AND STATE as she was in.
Notice that physiology IS an anchor. And people’s locations wehre they LOOK at their mental pictures and their thoughts and locations for feelings are also anchors.
Her picture of her dog was up close to her and in her feeling location.
Now there are some things I could have done better. But what really is cool about this, is I wasn’t even thinking about doing NLP or hypnosis or mind control.
And I anchored her state.
I used physiology and locations for things.
Then I led her to a different state where she was talking about good feelings about her dog. You do this with simple conversation about memories you like about a favorite pet or just ask them questions that get them to go in to that state.
And I ALSO anchored that.
Then I took the picture of dog and I…and this is where I really did something brilliant without thinking about it or even realizing I was doing it until AFTERWARDS, when I went back and replayed the event to analyze what I did and how to do it better so I could share it with you also, so you can benefit from my learning experiences.
I’m sure that I did this ‘accidentally’ by watching Doc do similar things so many times before.
And I TOOK her picture of DOG, and I SWISHED IT ALL THE WAY OUT to waaaayyyy across the street to a pet store across the street, as I talked about her dog and swished it wayyyy out there.
And I also “accidentally” got lucky – it was like the words were just flowing out of my mouth, and I had stuff coming to me to say, and I wasn’t even thinking about it – it was like I was “in the zone” so to speak.
And I accidentally got lucky BECAUSE she happened to have bought her dog at that very same pet store years and years ago.
So now I had a swished out picture of disassociated to putting the picture of the dog “out there” instead of the pictures and feelings of loss being right in front of her.
And I also “accidentally” – because I have NOT been practicing this in this manner, even though I SHOULD have been – I “accidentally” also used my physiological anchors where I was empathizing with her, and then moving to a new state, to collapse her old anchors.
You know the anchor collapse pattern, right?
Anchor the positive state really good.
Do a break state.
Test it to make sure the positive state fires off ok.
Anchor the negative state.
Do a break state and test it too.
Break state, fire the negative anchor, and as you’re holding it there and as the state starts to peak, you THEN trigger the positive resource anchor and you hold it as the negative state starts to blow out of their emotional field. And as that happens, you let up off of the anchor for the negative state as you keep firing the positive resource state.
You test to make sure it works by firing the negative anchor AGAIN to see if the emotional response was blown out or not.
Remember, these things are useful for all sorts of stuff – boyfriend destroyers, decision destroyers, belief change, etc.
Another way to do it which is really useful, especially when you want to get rid of a strong emotional response is to have the anchor for the negative or unwanted state you want to change. Have a “break state” anchor. And have the anchor for the new resource state.
Then you CHAIN them, using the same strategy as above, except this time you insert the “break state” in to blow out the negative emotion. THEN chain in the resource state.
And you can chain as many of these together as you want to condition in.
So whatever used to trigger the negative state now causes them to go in to a break state, then in to the resource state.
Go have fun with it! If you want to share how you use any of this in your own experiences, feel free to write to me. And let me know if it’s ok to share it with the newsletter or not. I can keep you “anonymous” if you prefer.
You also realize you can use other energy techniques along with this, and I will be covering that here very soon in a different file (probably a recording you can study from), along with the strategies and tactics of how to make it work, so you can use it for business or friendship or romance or however you desire to use the techniques!
Thanks so much for joining me. We got a lot to cover coming up here soon in the next recording (for those of you who are subscribed as of June 2, 2010), so stay tuned!
Sincerely,
Jim Knippenberg