Do poor finances have to doom your relationship?
Financial stress is one of the biggest problems in a relationship.
There are “poor” people who are happy together, though, and there are people who make a lot of money who are miserable together.
So money does not have to control your relationship. Money does not have to control you, either.
Sometimes we or the person we love have screwed up finances before the relationship even begins.
But does it have to doom the relationship?
Many financial advisors say that you should get out of a relationship as quickly as possible if the other person has money issues.
Those people are more financially successful than I am, so I won’t argue with them.
I would like to point out some alternatives that might help you out, though.
Keep in mind I do not give mental health, medical, or financial advice. These are just some things to consider.
Once upon a time, the man was the main source of income in a relationship. Nowadays, many professional women earn more than their man.
Once upon a time, a couple always had one financial account, and one person – either the man or the woman – was in charge of taking care of the finances: rent or mortgage, paying the utilities, doing the grocery shopping, etc.
Times are different now.
I remember reading a couple of years ago that many couples nowadays are HAPPIER when they have separate accounts.
Do you have a relationship with someone who likes to spend, spend, spend, and you want to keep the relationship without going broke, losing the house, and being poor and hungry in your old age with that person?
One way to deal with that is to have separate accounts.
I learned some interesting things when my dad’s health went way downhill, and I got my parents in to see a lawyer for family asset protection.
Keep in mind, I am not giving legal advice here, and laws might vary in your state.
One way to protect the ones you love is to have the common property – the house, perhaps one or more bank accounts, and other significant assets – put in to a trust, and have medical and financial power of attorney documents put on file.
So if something happens to one spouse, the other spouse can easily get ahold of those assets when they need them.
Your situation might vary. See a good asset protection attorney in your area for tips on this.
Even if you are both financially responsible, this type of arrangement can help protect your loved one if something happens to you.
The ideal is for both of you to be healthy and happy long in to old age, and die of old age, happy together.
It is also ideal to help prepare the way ahead for those you love.
Now when it comes to spending money, agree together to each have a certain amount of “fun money.”
Nobody likes to work their tail off without having any fun.
Already up to your ears in debt and don’t know what to do about it?
I recommend you find a copy of “The Richest Man In Babylon,” and read it. You should be able to find it free online. Or you can use my amazon link by clicking the title.
In addition to a strategy to wipe out debt, it offers another helpful belief to adopt: “A percentage of all I earn is mine to keep!”
Even if you can only save 1%.
Preferably, you start with at least 10%. If you’re putting it in to a pre-tax retirement account, you will hardly even notice the difference on your take home pay.
Give yourself and your partner a small percentage of “fun money” to do fun things together so you can help keep the joy in the relationship, and so you can each get things that are meaninful for you.
Of course there are ways to save and make more intelligent spending choices so the same things actually cost less.
Then there’s the option of “do something to improve your ability to make more money.”
You still have to take care of the inner beliefs about money, otherwise you will fall in to the same trap others usually fall into – the trap of increasing spending based on how much money is coming in.
Take care of the underlying emotional issues associated with trying to find emotional peace and satisfaction from spending – realizing that the feelings are gone soon after the purchase is made, and then the need starts all over again combined with the guilt of having blown the money.
Learn to forgive yourself if that’s you. Your partner needs to learn to forgive themselves also. Learn to work together toward a common goal, and do it in a way that allows you to both enjoy each other’s company.
There are many opportunities for low-cost and no-cost activities nowadays.
With the coronavirus garbage going on, nobody is going to the movies. At least not where I live.
But the cable company is offering free wifi at their hotspots.
You can watch movies for free.
There are places to take beautiful walks, beautiful bike rides, see beautiful scenery.
Instead of going to that expensive restaurant, you can cook together and have fun making a nice meal.
If you’d like some tips for low-cost and no-cost dates and fun activities, let me know, and I’ll cover that in another post.
JOY and ENTHUSIASM in a relationship is a HUGE collector of vital energies! Those energies that keep the two of you interested in the relationship and in sticking together and working together for a common goal.
This is a mind control principle known as “The Mastermind Group.”
A mastermind group can be a larger group. But one of the most powerful mastermind groups is a man and woman who are enthusiastic about each other, working toward a common chosen goal, a common chosen purpose, a common chosen future.
I hope you enjoyed this article.
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Thank you, and I will see you again in the next article!